- Desire

Virtually everything we do in life revolves around satisfying our desire for whatever it is that we believe will make us happy, right now or in the future. Following our dream is actively encouraged in the entire socio-economic structure.

In the Western world especially, from cradle to grave we’re told constantly that happiness is our right and we can all have whatever we want so long as we’re able and willing to legally do whatever it takes to get it. And virtually everything we do in life revolves around satisfying our desire for whatever it is that we believe will make us happy right now or in the future.

Following our dream is actively encouraged by parents, teachers, employers, governors and sales people, for example. In actual fact the entire socio-economic structure depends upon us all chasing our desires.

Can desire impulse last?

One thing we can say for certain about any desire impulse is that it eventually fades. This principle applies whether we’re talking about eating chocolates, having massage, communing with our life partner or whatever.

If our desire for someone or something is frustrated (it’s bound to happen sooner or later, no matter how hard we work at trying to insulate ourselves from disagreeable people or unfavourable circumstances), it’s not pleasurable at all- it gives rise to feelings of discontentment, jealousy, anger... etc. Yet the more times we manage to satisfy our desire for chocolate, durians, orgasm, partner’s attention, the pleasurable feelings that we initially experience are transformed over time into feelings or boredom or even distaste. And when that happens, our inclination more often than not is to seek the next pleasurable hit (a more luxurious brand of chocolate, a more adventurous sexual act or a more empathetic partner, perhaps?)’.

How often have you imagined yourself to be full of joy sometime in the future when you finally achieve your heart’s desire? Yet did you not experience success as an anti- climax? Was it not true that the real thrills (if any) were obtained during the chase and in the struggle, whereas the pleasure you got from your accomplishment began to evaporate even as your mind was busy planning the next objective?

Okay, so you have some great memories of the past and some inspiring dreams for the future, but is it not also true that while you’re swallowing in these mental phenomena your real life (your experience of the present moment) is passing by you unnoticed?

What’s currently wrong in the world?

As  human beings we live most of our lives inside our imaginations, and you only have to look as what’s currently wrong in the world to see the net result of billions of people all following their dreams (noble or otherwise). In the affluent West especially, the reality of existence is too mundane or too painful to contemplate, let alone accept, which is why we so often feel compelled to satisfy our fantasy-fuelled desires (greed) instead of making our peace with life as it actually is and appreciating what we already have.

This erroneous assumption that lasting happiness depends upon our being able to satisfy desires is capable of driving rational human beings to behave like junkies in need of another fix. The very fact that bodies and minds are subject to ageing, illness and death should tell us that we inevitably have to say “bye bye” to all that is dear and appealing to us sooner or later.

Look at the desire objectively and see it for what it actually is (most likely a craving for sensory stimulation, or an urge to be elsewhere/to be other than you already are, or a wish to be rid of something). Not only are you giving yourself time in which to decide whether or not you want to go there again, but chances are the desire will fall away naturally without you having to ignore or repress it. 

Experiences come and go – the ‘bad’ ones as well as the ‘good’ ones. Just be aware of them as they’re happening, recognise them as impermanent and try not to hang on to them or push them away. That way you’re less likely to be discontented in the long run. The alternative is to continue relying on a fragile body, a fickle partner, and ever-changing circumstances to always delver satisfaction.

What do you do when you have freed yourself of all desire except the desire to be free from desire?